SHE CHOSE. Introducing Kerry

Kerry’s Story.

When I was 40 I found out I was pregnant. Our three children were teenagers and, while I enjoyed every stage of raising them, I felt like I was too old to have a baby. My husband had a history of being violent towards me and I had suffered miscarriages due to his physical abuse in the past, so that was
a big consideration for me. Sometimes the police would come and take us away, sometimes the children would get hurt. I didn’t want to raise more children in a violent home.

My husband took me to the clinic for the abortion. It was a big decision for me as it was very frowned upon back in the mid-1990s, especially a pregnancy within a marriage. There were people protesting with placards and when I went in, it felt like everyone was making judgments. It was clinical. My middle child has cerebral palsy so my focus was always making sure he had everything he needed for a full life. Raising him was also a lot more physical than other children, just simple things like getting him in and out of the car. We travelled a lot for treatment for him and having a baby wouldn’t have made that possible so I knew it was the right decision but I still felt a lot of guilt.

After the procedure, they told me that I had been pregnant with twins which was a shock but wouldn’t have changed our decision. As soon as you opened your eyes [after the procedure] you were thrown out the door and that was the end of it, even if you were in discomfort. My husband wasn’t very supportive. He expected me to go straight to work as soon as I came out of the building.

I had heard about abortions and people having them before I had mine but they weren’t something you spoke about casually. I wasn’t able to talk to anyone after my abortion—I didn’t even tell my children for years. I think it’s more accepted today.

In all of the years that passed, I never once regretted the decision to terminate the pregnancy.

Whenever I thought about it, I just felt relief. Bringing children into this world is a lifelong commitment and not to be made lightly. It was the right decision for me at the time.

I think it’s quite cruel when people think they can make decisions for women. It’s cruel to the woman, and to the babies to be born. Lots of people have different reasons why they can’t have children—their personal situations or hereditary diseases. They might try their best not to have a child, but somehow, it’s happened. And that can be scary. Now there is the emergency contraceptive, but we didn’t have that in my day.

If you have a personal story or find SHE CHOSE. inspiring I’d love to hear from you. You can leave comments below. Stay tuned for the next instalment where I’ll be introducing Mia.

Thanks for visiting and reading about a project I have been truly passionate about!

G x