SHE CHOSE. Introducing Kristen
Kristen’s Story.
“The day before my 26th birthday, I’d been feeling sick. I went to the doctor, did a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was ten weeks pregnant and was still getting my period. I told the doctor I wasn’t in
a situation to have a child and asked him what my options were. He wrote a hotline number down
on a piece of paper. He said, “You need to think really deeply about this decision, it’s a big decision.” I didn’t want to bring a child into the world when I knew I didn’t have the capacity to support them emotionally as well as financially.”
“I started to tell my family. My mum said to me, “Well, you’re 26 years old—why don’t you just have it?” The father of the child explicitly said that if I had the child, he would not be a part of our lives.”
“The doctor’s assistant rang me up and said I needed a follow-up appointment. They said it was an urgent matter. Thinking it was something critical about my health, I went in that same day. The doctor sat me down and said, “I didn’t feel comfortable with you leaving yesterday. I feel like you’re not making the right choice.” For 45 minutes, he explained to me why I shouldn’t terminate the pregnancy. I sat there in absolute shock. I felt like I had no room to stand up for myself. I left feeling upset and guilty about the choice I had already made. For a medical professional to say to me, “You shouldn’t be doing this, you should have the child”—I felt he was putting his personal opinions on my choice.”
“I think it’s really important that medical professionals are trained on how to support women who are going through this, and to not impose their views on other people’s decisions. I never rang the hotline. The way I found out how to organise [the abortion] was through Google and asking friends.”
“I had the appointment in secrecy as my family weren’t supportive. That whole time, no one asked me, “What do you want to do?”, “How do you feel?’, or “What decision do you want to make?” No one asked me what I wanted to do with my body.”
“The people at the clinic were amazing—from the second I walked in, to when I left. I remember waking up, looking at the nurse, and saying, “Thank you—you have no idea what this means to me.” It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.”
“I have never been back to the doctor that told me not to abort. When I drive past his practice, I feel anxious. It brings back a lot of emotions considering I terminated the pregnancy. But I know deep down in my heart that it was the right decision for me.”
“Men who are in government should not be making decisions about women’s bodies. They have not lived the experiences that we have lived, and they don’t know what it’s like to be pregnant and not want it. I remember one night I thought it would just be easier if I wasn’t here, than to have to go through it. I was crying myself to sleep because I just wanted it to be over, and I knew so deeply that I just didn’t want it.”
“If you find yourself in the same position, you need to confide in someone that will support your decision no matter what that is. Someone who will ask you what you want. Finding that person can sometimes be difficult.”
“For my future, I want to progress my career. That’s what I considered heavily when choosing to terminate the pregnancy. I want to feel complete as a person before I give myself to another human being.”
“It feels so good to talk about this. It feels like I’ve been sitting on it and I’m so grateful for this opportunity. I can finally give myself closure.”
If you have a personal story or find SHE CHOSE. inspiring I’d love to hear from you. You can leave comments below. Stay tuned for the next instalment where I’ll be introducing Kristen.
Thanks for visiting and reading about a project I have been truly passionate about!
G x